March 18th marked one year since selling our cafe/coffee roaster.
And in typical form, Jon and I didn’t even acknowledge it.
You’d think we’d celebrate. I mean, it’s is one of the biggest life changing moments we’ve had. Maybe we’d at least talk about about all the crazy things we’ve accomplished in the year since.
But no, we just worked through that day like it was any other.
You see we’ve gotten into this bad habit of not celebrating our wins. I started realizing this downfall of ours when we owned Big Water, though I’m sure it is entrenched in us and shows up earlier in our lives than that.
Often times we would complete some BIG project only to steamroll right through it and on to the next thing. Barely even a high five, nice work, or wow look what we just accomplished. If we went all out, we’d go out to dinner to celebrate. Whoooo hooooo.
We were just nose to the grindstone. Pretty lame.
When we sold the business last year, we did take a 3 week road trip. But I was 8 months pregnant, we visited family and of course we were pushing ourselves to cover 5,000 miles rather than just chill the fuck out and take some deep breaths.
We rolled that right into having baby #3, selling our house, moving across the country and starting two new businesses. Go. Go. Go. Must. Do. More.
But this winter I started floundering.
I felt as though I’d been thrown into the middle of the ocean and I had no idea which direction to swim to get to land.
You see, when I owned Big Water it seemed so clear what my business was and where I wanted it to go. Sure it was hard and the answers weren’t always clear but I could work through it and figure out a direction.
Starting my new business was so open ended. It could be anything I wanted it to be. And there are a million people telling you what you should be doing. Oh, and make sure to “find your true calling” do “what you were meant to do” figure out “your life’s purpose.”
Sure. No pressure or anything.
My mind started feeling like a ping pong ball zinging from idea to idea with no real follow through on anything.
In the meantime my husband was working diligently behind me (literally behind me in the office we share) on developing his business. The first time in eight years we’ve been doing our own business and they are so very different. I admit I was a little jealous of his focus and drive to seem to know exactly what he wanted.
All I wanted to do was interrupt him to chat about all my ideas. But I knew that wasn’t really helpful to either of us, so I sought solace in coffee shops where I wasn’t tempted to chat.
I just couldn’t decided what direction was best for me and my desired lifestyle.
Previously I was wasting time and energy reading every email from various gurus (and I get a ridiculous amount of them) and watching webinars, scanning facebook, listening to podcasts.
At every turn I was being told a different message and was completely overwhelmed.
I took some courses in hopes of them helping me see the light but in the end, I realized that what I really wanted was to work one on one with someone to help me.
So I put the word out there, talked to a few people until I found my “Hell Yes” person and we’ve been working together about 1 month.
I’ve made a big investment in myself and my business by hiring Michael (said coach) and I am placing my trust in him. Because of that I've chosen to decrease the amount of noise I’m getting from other sources.
I have started decreasing what media I take in and started being very deliberate in what I read/listen to/watch.
I’ve been unsubscribing left and right from email lists, save a few that I really enjoy.
I’ve stopped read every blog and facebook forum.
I had never hired a business coach. In my mind that was luxurious or indulgence or a weakness; I wasn’t super clear. But now I was going into coaching and what the hell does it say if I hadn’t hired one myself.
I am still working on foundational things but something amazing inside of me has happened.
I don’t feel so anxious and pressured.
I feel more confident.
Rather than feeling scattered, I’ve become calm and focused (I do realize calm is not a common word used to describe me). I believe the work I’m doing will allow me to fully serve my clients in the best way I can and will get me where I want to go.
Previously I always felt behind, like I just wasn’t working hard enough/fast enough or on the right stuff.
But now I am trying to chill out a little more.
Enjoy my kids and playing with them.
Enjoy my work.
Enjoy my city, my life.
I have started to work from the inside out, to create what I want under guidance of my coach. He isn’t telling me what to do, only helping to guide me, draw out my own strengths and desires.
And he’s giving me permission to know that it will be fluid, that my business will evolve as I evolve and that is a good thing. That is key for someone with zillions of ideas.
Having his support makes all the difference.
I’m learning to pause and reflect more on the wins.
This month Jon and I both are having some big wins, so I am committing to some celebration. I’ve booked a few nights for our family on the coast later this month. We will relax, play, enjoy our new surroundings and be proud of what we’ve accomplished.
This is the first of many celebrations. I expect a lot more in the near future.
Do you celebrate your wins? What do you do? I'd love if you shared in the comments.