Stillness In The Crazy


Many of you know that I owned a coffee roaster, but most don't realized where I lived. 

I lived in Northern Wisconsin in a rural town on Lake Superior. The town I lived in had 2,000 people in it and my business was 15 miles away in a town of 600.

There wasn't a stop light in the ENTIRE COUNTY.

There was so much stillness all around me. 

I felt like I was going crazy. I started to crave living somewhere else. 

The funny thing is I had a lot of guilt wrapped up in that. Why couldn't I be happy? So many people wished they could make it work in this remote location and here I was with a thriving business and I wanted out. 

Inside me I couldn't sit still, my brain on constant high alert, always working, momming, friending with my game face on cuz in a a place this size you always run into someone you know. 

I had a friend who started yoga class with 5 minutes of meditation and I thought I was going to die. I don't have time for this shit! I would scream in my head. Let's get my workout on! 

But I craved something different. I wanted to be surrounded by the energy of others. Others doing their creative business work. Bringing their gifts tot he world at a higher level. 

I wanted to just sit in the place while people buzzed around me, rather than feeling like I was the only one buzzing. 

And so I moved to a city. Not to the suburbs even, but in a neighborhood in the city. And it is the city that speaks to my heart.

And I couldn't be happier. 

It is in the place and time of recognizing what feeds me and listening to what I wanted and needed that I am figuring out my path. 

I still don't know exactly what I'm going to do in the coming year - I have a plan but am letting it unfold. Amazing opportunities and ideas keep coming to me and I am open to receive each of them. 

But I know this. In this craziness I am happier. 

And I am able to begin to find my own stillness so I can sit long enough to hear the voice inside me that will tell me exactly what I need to hear. I am finding my heart in all of my hustle and it is filling me up more than ever before. 

We each have our own path and a way the works for us. The biggest thing I've learned is to honor who I am, what I need and don't compare to what works for someone else. 

Thanks for being part of my journey and letting me into yours.